The Raging of the River of Despair
A Personal Testimony by Ken Simmons
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We all know of the disaster a flooding river can cause. It is unmerciful, powerful, and completely destructive.
A person’s life can become just as a flooding river. Just like the flooding river, it can destroy, just as completely and indiscriminately.
My life raged like that of a flooding
river. I was saved when I was young, yet my sister Becky loved Jesus more than
I did.
“Love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
(Matthew 22:37) NIV
Becky drowned in a river near our home at
age seven. Unable to understand why God took one such as her, I turned
vehemently against any and all of the things that God stood for.
Unbeknownst to me, I was headed for a
life of living hell. Because I had turned against God, the world, and even my
parents and family.
I sought any and all lusts and pleasures
of the flesh and mind. With a total passion, I denied myself nothing!
Cigarettes, Meth, Alcohol, Marijuana, PCP, LSD, Cocaine, and all the kinds of
sex I could get!
Yet in all the pleasures of the world, I
couldn’t find one thing that satisfied with a lasting happiness. Blinded by my
wild life, I failed to see it as the cause of all my problems.
“The
fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that do good. The Lord looks down from Heaven
upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God.
They have all turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is none
who does good. No, not one.”
(Psalm 14:1-3) NKJV
Throughout all the troubles in my life, I
continued to shake my fist at God. Yet continually God placed people in my path
to guide me back towards His true purpose for my life.
I spitefully enjoyed mocking these
messengers, but God never gave up on me no matter what I had done or continued
to do.
“But
God commends His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ
died for us.”
(Romans
5:8) NKJV
My life finally got to the point where I
was lost and in desperate need of help, totally addicted to drugs, alcohol, and
sex.
I was abusing my body at any and every opportunity.
My parents and siblings had all but disowned me and my self-destructive lifestyle drove my wife and children away. Eventually, I had nothing! I was left all alone! Finally, I reached a depth of depravity and despair in my life that was one of total confusion, uncertainty and fear. Again God called unto me through another person.
“For the promise is to
you and to your children, and to all whom are far off, as many as the Lord our
God will call.”
(Acts
2:39) NKJV
Not knowing why, I answered His call. With a broken and battered heart and body, in desperation I surrendered. Fearfully facing all I had become, knowing I’d have to confess it all. With a willing and open heart, I went before my Lord.
If we confess our
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from
all unrighteousness.
(1 John 1:9) NKJV
Is your life as destructive as a flooding
river? You too can receive God’s help and forgiveness. He’s faithful and
long-suffering.
“The Lord is not slack
concerning his promise, as some count slackness; but is long-suffering toward
us. Not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to
repentance.”
(2 Peter 3:9) NKJV
If you want true peace in your life, pray
to Jesus and admit you’re a sinner, then ask Him to forgive for your sins. Then
repent of those sins, trusting your faith in Jesus to help you to not sin
anymore.
“So if the
Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
(John 8:36) NIV
Many do not understand what the word
repent really means to them as an individual. It means that through our faith
in the strength given unto us by Jesus we change who we are and what we do.
“Do not
conform any longer to the pattern of this world: but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test what God’s will is-His
good, pleasing and perfect will.”
(Romans 12:2) NIV
You and I both know, that anything worth
having is worth fighting for, or so the saying goes. Jesus puts it a little
differently.
And every
one who has left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or
wife, or children, or fields, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much
and will inherit eternal life.”
(Matthew 19:29) NIV
Jesus shows the nature of His loving
character, in that He is actively seeking the lost at all times. Just as the
shepherd in the parable in Matthew 18:10-14.
“Behold I
stand at the door and knock, any man who hears my voice and opens the door: I
will come in and dwell with him and he with me.”
(Revelation 3:20) NKJV
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